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We are born with a mind that is what it is due to the evolution spanning over billions of years. Reproduction existed before the evolution of sexes. Organisms reproduced through binary and multiple fission (Division). Evolution of sexes was the result of desire of getting pleasure, joy and happiness out of this ongoing process. What else would result in the evolution of two different sexes as opposed to everyone being same and the survival of species is being successfully achieved by division of organism after reaching a certain stage of development. This pretty much guaranteed the perpetuity of life if not more, then at least at the same level as the sexual reproduction. Think about it! Even from religious point of view, was it impossible for God to have us reproduce without sex? Obviously not. So the creation of sexes was not merely for reproduction, because it could have been achieved without sex and lots and lots of primitive organism still do it asexually just by dividing themselves. So, why did sexes evolved or God created sexes? Apparently the purpose was beyond procreation. Obviously the reason was to add some fun in procreation and perpetuity .................... To reward ourselves or His creatures for a heavy and difficult responsibility of procreation and raising the newborns and kids.

Another question that arises at this point is why there is so much attraction between opposite or even same sexes, depending on ones preference, not just in human beings but in all bi-sexual animals and may be even in bi-sexual plants. Some would say for the sake of procreation! True but how many of us are actually thinking about procreation when attracted by another human being? May be sometimes.......... some of us. But most of the time we just want to have intimacy and/or sex.

Also, why there is so much fun, joy and pleasure in sex? Again some would say for the sake of procreation. True. But why in most cases this pleasure becomes the sole cause of sex? or sole achievement from sex as opposed to procreation!

Beside, why did even our minds grew so much desire for sex? Why do we even have special centers in our brain that cause desire for sex, sexual attraction and immense pleasure during sex, that becomes the root cause of repeating that experience again and again?

Why over the course of this evolution, we grew so many triggers for sexual desire as various as looks, voice, hairstyle, power, fame to name just a few. We all know that they are so many, almost infinite and it is impossible to count or account all of them. They vary so much on case to case bases and depend so much on circumstances and situation.

Our sexual behaviour is not just effected by evolution and brain, it is also very much shaped by the way we grow up; social, cultural and religious values; incidents and accidents in life etc. etc. From time when it was OK to have sex with 'anyone', to 'not with family members' ,to 'not with first relatives'; Strictly 'within the bond of marriage', to ' within committed relationships', to 'anyone you like and have consent from'. We may also have reservations about how often we should have or allow someone to to have it from us; some particularly women consider it their right to limit his access regarding how often he can access and how long and how much he can have; they may also consider too much sex as degrading and disgusting for a woman and may think that limited access will keep him interested; this was probably more true in past but now-a-days it just frustrates him and since now the accessibility and availability is much easier and more frequent he just goes on to 'cheat' or leave her for a 'better, more easily accessible and available option: What is right sex and what is wrong sex; for some anal sex may be a sin and oral sex dirty: How to proceed during sex; some want to do it and get over with it as soon as possible, while others want to take it easy and like to do some romance and foreplay before actually having sex; sex at different ages and stages of life; sex as a lover, spouse, parent etc. etc.:

Childhood circumstances like abuse, incest, early experiences also effect the behaviour and approach towards sex and partners. These factors are well known to cause behavioral problems like exaggerated cautions, irrational limits, phobias, paranoia, weird beliefs and myriad of others.

Other factors that effect sex are psychological and physical factors like stress, mood, tiredness, level of excitement, attraction and likeliness towards partner to name a few.

A large number of couples report a sudden change in sexual behaviour and lake of interest, particularly in women after becoming a parent. This is, as usual, the result of so many different factors like beliefs, tiredness, stress, divergence of attention and goals of relationship. Some people, specially women truly believe that mothers are not supposed to have sex or at least they consider it 'disgusting'. Some of them may be too tired and/or stressed by new baby. In other cases the focus of attention is changed from partner to baby and they cannot share this attention with partner anymore. For others. having a baby is the only or most important goal of relationship, particularly for woman. In this case, she does not have any interest in sex anymore.

Diseases like depression, cardio-vascular problems, erectile dysfunction, painful intercourse, Vaginismus may also be causing problems.

Sex is known to cause happiness, satisfaction, pride, lust for life, lowers the blood pressure, reduces risk of cardio-vascular incidents and accidents, increases life expectancy. Lake of sex or not enough sex is known to cause frustration, depression, shame, suicidal ideation, increased blood pressure, increased risk of cardio-vascular incidents and accidents, and reduces the life-expectancy.

If you and/or your partner/spouse or both of you are experiencing sex related issues then first and foremost important thing is to find out the cause, because remedy depends on cause.

For physical causes like erectile dysfunction, vaginismus, infections and inflammatory disorders, trauma, etc. see your physician ASAP.

For psychiatric problems like depression, phobias, anxiety, panic and bi-polar issues see a Psychiatrist as soon as possible.

You may also realistically find out how much two of you like each other anymore and how much you want to live with each other. Sometime it may be only religious, cultural. moral, social and/or economic and financial factors keeping you together. You may have to think, discuss and mutually consider, is it really worth to live together and how much? If there is lake of interest, can it be revived and how?

Remembering and recalling the past works sometime. Like how did you meet? How much you liked and loved each other? What did you like about each other? How you have been there for each other under all circumstances? Remembering, talking about and watching the pictures and videos of main events of your life like, your love before marriage, engagement, marriage, honeymoon, birth of a child, etc.

You can also talk about and find out where the flame is still burning? What do you still like about each other? What about him/her still turns you on? What are the reasons you should stay together or the reasons that are keeping you together? Regardless of all the factors, how much this relationship still means to you?

You don't have to focus on positives only. You should also take this as an opportunity to fix the problems. You can talk about or find out about What is turning you/ and/or your partner/ spouse off? What is causing the lake or absence of interest? What you and/or the partner/spouse does not like about his/her spouse/partner? What needs to be changed? What can be and/or should be fixed?

Dissatisfaction and/or disappointment may be the cause of problem. What he and/or she expected of this relationship? Was or were those expectations realistic? How many and how much of those were fulfilled? If contrary to or less then expectation, than is/are those partners'/ spouse's fault? Are those controllable circumstances? Can that be or needed to be changed or reversed? Are those forgivable or need to be forgiven? Is any of you/Both of you exaggerating and/or misunderstanding, exaggerated and/or misunderstood/ exaggerated something/certain things?

You may also have to dig out the past of one or both of you as far back as infancy. Our life incidents, accidents, circumstances, teachings and beliefs keep haunting us for the rest of our lives and effect our way of thinking, our behavior, our lives, our relationships and even our achievements in the ways most of the times we don't even realize and understand. I know in many circumstances it is very hard to open up for one or both and to Even digest the past of other partner/ spouse, particularly in more primitive, conservative and secretive cultures. But in many situations this is the only solution to the problem. This approach requires lot of courage and a very open mind/ minds. Be very clear about this and and make your partner very clear about this. If used improperly this approach may complicate the problem even more and completely destroy your relationship. Expert supervision and advice is highly recommended for this approach and method.

These methods/ approaches are long and difficult to implement, but are very likely to reap great rewards. The problems are not just going to go away by themselves. You have to address them, diagnose them and treat them. It is the best for you, your response/partner, kids, family and everyone around and related to you.